When asking for help, pay attention...

It has been a tough couple of weeks (or is it months... Time seems to irrelevant for me right now).

I have been flying from coast to coast, interviewing for Education Director positions in the hospital setting; each one clashing drastically with my "Prime Intention" of being of maximal influence to the improvement of healthcare delivery in the United States. It is clear to me that the chaos resulting from the extremist viewpoints of the far right and far left wing political philosophies in Western Civilization is being mirrored in healthcare as medical centers who were allowed to be purchased by larger healthcare systems, struggle to continue to maximize profits while remaining in compliance with credentialling bodies who's established science points to what we all got into healthcare for - to be of service to those who are hurting.

But these conflicts don't help my bank account any as I watch the numbers trickle down, down, down; without any conscious means of improving my ability to continue to support myself coming into view.

I spent 5 hours yesterday in Tulsa's Department of Human Services applying for financial assistance. There are so many ways of evolving consciousness connected to such a visit. I used to frequent such surroundings in my child-bearing years, as pregnancy used to wreak havoc on my body and placing me in a position where I couldn't work for a period of time. My reality used to be: 'if I didn't work, we didn't eat'. To return to that point after growing in consciousness to the level I have was humbling to say the least. However, as is always the case, as I shut my "pet ego" into it's cage once again, and lived in expenctancy of being of service to another, the worker who processed my intake and I developed a rather deep connection, and I walked out of there with more employment leads as well as a better understanding that I was creating a "safety net" for myself as I continue the high altitude acrobatics of balancing on the high wire of trusting in the Process.

After such a day as yesterday, I found myself 'painfully exhausted' and slept for more than 12 hours last night. Today I woke up barely able to move through my apartment partly from the inflammatory response to the stress my humaness is currently experiencing, partly because of the rainy day outside. My fibromyalgia/arthritis experience is consuming my ability to remain in hopeful optimism. So I did what I typically do when I find myself in such a position, I ask for help from the "Cosmic Muffin" (thank you Mark Main). In my email, I found this link which I want to share with you.

In the 12-step movement with have the concept of "K-I-S-S" (keep it simple stupid). My Higher Power has delivered a KISS to me. I am now blowing KISSes to all of you...

The richest man

It's been a while

I feel I've reached the end of the road. Of what, I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that I've reached another birthday milestone. Every year on my birthday I gift myself with a tarot card reading. I find that the reading provides me with inspiration for the upcoming year while uncovering undercurrents influencing my current situation.

This year my Celtic Cross (a basic spread for discovering motives, influences and energies affecting one's life path) started out with the "Self" card (how I currently perceive myself) as the 10 of swords.

                                  
The effect that viewing this card gives, even without knowledge of the Rider-Waite tarot deck, pretty much sums up my experience at this point in my life. The interpretation of this card further sheds light on my experience - and also why I have taken a bit of leave from this blog.

The Ten of Swords in this position signifies a sense of grim relief. At this point you are no longer obligated to exert any more effort because there is nothing more you can do. Under the circumstances, no one can rationally expect you to have any power to change the situation.

 

In a sense, you are free. You may be in shock, flattened, but that is understandable and acceptable. It is best not to try to do anything about your condition at this time. This card gives you permission to surrender to the inevitable. Be assured that in time you will recover, you will again have some wind behind your sails. But for the present, you're just knocked out. Admit it and go with it -- what else can you do?

I understand from previous experience that ultimate surrender leads to a spiritual leap-frog in consciousness. When I "get" at my core a sense of surrender of my way of thinking and acting, I move aside and let a Power Greater than myself take the helm. Today, I know that I have everything I need - a soft bed, a solid roof over my head, food in the fridge, people in my life who love me and AIR CONDITIONING (more than a necessity when daily temps here in eastern Oklahoma top 110 degrees on a daily basis).

I've been sleeping a lot and meditating more. I have found that when life gets scary, narrowing my focus keeps me away from the demons lurking in the shadows. And through my introspection, seeking and experiencing gratitude daily and my faith that this Universe is a friendly place always seeking to support me - and you - a glimmer of light has developed for me... in South Carolina.

My spiritual directions over time have taught me the importance of setting one's intention and take what you get without question. I have found that my Higher Power has the viewpoint that I can not hope to achieve in my limited human perspective. So it would appear that South Carolina it is. I'll "show up" on August 22 as see where life leads me. Exhilarating and terrifying simultaneously. But when I keep in mind that I never walk alone...anywhere...it makes life a little easier.

One final word, I set my intention to discover the Ultimate Intelligence behind where I currently find myself and discovered this video by David Ault. Enjoy!

Become the change you want to see in the world

Watching the evening news is addicting. On the one hand, we are curious about what has gone on in the world so that we can make conscious choices on how to interact with it, but on the other hand, it brainwashes (actually and perhaps subliminally) our thinking to fall into alignment with what the pervading power group wants us to believe. Never has this lesson been clearer to me living in Oklahoma; the capital of "indignant conservatism" - what the locals refer to as the "buckle of the bible belt" believing in a savior which requires petitioning and an angry god  who is just looking for and excuse to throw our souls into eternal damnation.

However, blindly following a leader (or social or political movement) without utilizing discriminatory choice seems to have negative consequences connected to it. Never have I seen a level of civil disorder than in this area. (The violent crime rate in Tulsa is higher that it was in Albuquerque). The sexual abuse and incest rate here is at a level I can not conceive growing up in Iowa.

It is far easier to follow an existing leader than it is to be discriminatory in what I believe. One of most freeing beliefs I have acquired since maturing in consciousness is "This works for me" (or doesn't work for me).  For me, gone are the days of right or wrong. We each have our own view of the world based on our activities and events in our formative years. Some things are important to others which may not be important for me. I have that right to discriminate what I will adopt as mine because of my spiritual nature. (Though there is only One of Us here, the tapestry we weave as a joint expression of Consciousness would be pretty boring if all the threads were of the same color. It is only by discriminatory selection that we can weave that tapestry with the richness of color and texture of a fine work of art). And I am a fine work of art because of my Spiritual nature.

It is one thing to be consciously evolved in our thinking, but it is quite another to choose to become the vessel which manifests as an evolved consciousness. It takes an attention to detail. No longer am I free to "knee-jerk" my response. It is important that I choose what level of consciousness I "hang around". (Because of the physical law of resonance, I take on the consciousness of who I associate with). Spirit always in the state of evolution. We either grow in consciousness or atrophy. (Think of energy. It is never destroyed; it only mutates into this form or another). The time is short for me; if I am to impact life on this Earth (which I believe is my Soul Mission), I need to set the intention to continue to grow my consciousness. That includes increasing meditation - so I can remember who I truly am, looking at my limiting beliefs and to continue to be willing to let them go and take the risk to announce to the world the lesson that I have to teach.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.  No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.  That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

                                                                 ---9th step Promises, Alcoholics Anonymous'
                                                                      basic text

I'd like to share a video of my two favorite motivational speakers; Wayne Dyer and, the gal who saved my life: Marianne Williamson. They are speaking at Louise Hay's "I Can Do It!" conference in Las Vegas. (The headsets are worn because they are co-currently broadcasting on Louise Hay's Internet radio station). Please tolerate the intermission towards the end, because the video comes back to the speakers' closing observations; one of the most important details of this clip.  Nameste

3 Dangers Of Emotional Eating - Diet Blog

I came across this article a while back and would like to share it with you. I was exposed to the concept of "emotional eating" when I lost 70 pounds on the Optifast program. Its contents resonate with me. I have a dear friend, who, newly divorced after a very restrictive marriage suddenly has gone from a size 4 to as size 12 (horrors!) and complained that never before she has used food to comfort her but finds herself doing so now...

Emotional Eating is no longer a new concept. It is something that has become a buzzword in many people's vocabulary. The media reflects the way food has become an accepted coping mechanism for almost every situation.

Kung Fu Panda eats because he is not living his dream. Samantha Jones in the film Sex and the City eats so she doesn't cheat on her boyfriend. And watching Oprah's body shrink and expand over the years has become a way to monitor her level of overwhelm or upset.

We are a stressed-out society and food makes us feel better. It's that simple.

Food is legal and readily available. Eating to alleviate stress is even encouraged by friends, family and the media. Stores, fast-food chains and restaurants keep developing new kinds of sugar- and fat-laden foods that are effective in numbing our bodies and minds.

The ever-growing obesity rate reflects that people are turning to this tried-and-true coping mechanism more and more often. The underlying reason is because we are in pain. We are depressed, anxious and upset. Food has been installed as a drug of choice because essentially it works. It soothes, puts a person in a trance and keeps people where they want to be - as far away from feelings as possible.

If comfort eating is so common, what's the problem?

1. The most obvious problem is obesity.
It's normal to reach for the comfort of food sometimes. Everyone does it. However, when a person uses food to deal with feelings they often find themselves becoming increasingly afraid to feel and that leads to reaching for food more frequently.

One Shrink Yourself member told us, "I used to eat when I was bored but now it seems like every feeling is an excuse to eat - anger, loneliness, happiness, exhaustion, all of them."

If you eat to calm your nerves one out of 20 times it doesn't generally affect your weight. But when you reach for food 20 out of 20 times your weight will inevitably begin to rise. If food has worked for you in the past, your mind will keep offering it up as an option and that leads to the next danger...

2. Emotional Eating doesn't teach you the necessary skills to tackle life's challenges.
If your mind keeps offering food as a way to cope and you keep taking your mind up on the offer, you're never forced to find real ways to deal with real problems. Your development gets stuck in the place where food became your "friend."

One member mourned the loss of decades by saying, "I started to eat for emotional reasons when I was eight. Now I'm 38 and I feel like I never learned how be an adult. Food was just something to focus on while my development was on hold."

The more you use food, the less you believe you can handle life without it.

The last danger of Emotional Eating is...

3. Depression triggers Emotional Eating but Emotional Eating perpetuates depression.
Many people tell us that the hopeless feelings associated with depression make them feel like food is the only pleasure they have.

A Shrink Yourself reader wrote us to say, "For years I convinced myself that food was the only thing I had to live for. I kept eating. One day I decided I wanted to get better, not bigger."

As we said before Emotional Eating feeds off itself - the more you use it, the more you need it. This not only makes you gain weight but also stops you from developing the skills you need... skills that would make you approach life from an empowered way that is sure to lift your spirit.

The answer always lies in understanding why you eat. When you can see which people, feelings and situations lead you to the comfort of food you can begin to pick up where you stopped learning and started eating.

Facing things head-on not only makes you less dependent on food but also gives you the tools you need to build the best life.

Dr. Roger Gould is one of the world's leading authorities on emotional eating and adult development. A board-certified psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and former head of Community Psychiatry and Outpatient Psychiatry at UCLA, he is the author of Transformations and Shrink Yourself. Dr. Gould is also founder of the Shrink Yourself online program, an effective, proven program that ends emotional eating.

Dr. Gould has a book and an online 12-week program for self-enlightenment.

Shrink Yourself website

Here is a copy of his e-book to give readers a flavor of what his program is about.

http://www.shrinkyourself.com/get_ebook.asp?email=

The path of self-enlightenment has been so very enriching for me over the years; to my friends and to those who comfort themselves with food, this is another excellent resource available on that path. Namaste.
                                                                         

A MUST see!

For all those who were energized by the movie "What the BLEEP!" or Lynn McTaggart's book "The Field" or for anyone who has heard of these pop-culture icons and has wondered what all the hopla was about, this movie is a "must see".

From the director of "Bruce Almighty" and "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective", Tom Shadyac has taken the clarity and vision he experienced following a bicycle accident which allowed him to look at death clearly in the eye to create a movie that substantially adds to the momentum of the healing of our planet which we are experiencing today.

We are currently part of an evolutionary process which became apparent to even the nearly blind to the metaphysical segment of our society when bank foreclosures took place at a unprecedented levels, and has been predicted to continue through the whatever evolution is anticipated surrounding the end of the Mayan Calendar. This film is part of the global awakening which will be the result of our evolution.

To my personal friends in New Mexico, Oklahoma and Iowa, the film is currently playing in the DeVargas Mall 6 Cinema in Santa Fe and the High Ridge 8 Theater in Albuquerque. It starts at the Varsity Theater in Des Moines on Friday May 13 and will start at the Circle Cinema in Tulsa on May 27th.

Join me in being part of the evolutionary shift away from a fearful world to one which is life-enhancing; a life our Essential Self was intended to live.

Ding dong the witch is dead

America is celebrating our military's raid and assassination of Osama Bin Laden last evening. Jubilation at "ground zero", in front of the White House and at Times Square. One of the great injustices purportedly inflicted upon our country has been, at least, partially rectified. The media is eluding to the "war on terror" is nearing the end.

Or is it?

When Dorothy's house landed on the Wicked Witch of the West, the munchkins celebrated in much the same way that we are celebrating Bin Laden's assassination. The tyranny inflicted by the witch was over. Now their lives would improve. Much like the jubilation of Americans these past 24 hours. However, the story of the Wizard of Oz, I believe, is a parable for the primary challenge of the human experience.

Dorothy is told that the Great Wizard has the knowledge which can return Dorothy to her beloved Kansas. Much the same as we place our ability to be happy or successful in someone else's hands or upon some future event. (Does "I'll be happy when..." win the lottery, get the right house, job, relationship, weight, degree, etc. etc. etc. sound familiar?)

So Dorothy sets off down the Yellow Brick Road (the only correct way to get to the Wizard) and comes upon the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Lion, each possessing their own "I'll be happy when". On the way, success at finding the Great Wizard is taking too long and adversity besets the group of seekers in the form of the Witch's sister seeing revenge for killing the ruby-slippered tyrant. Finding that life is tough, the group takes a gander through the poppy field (the source of opiates such as morphine, heroin, Vicodin & Percocet). Subjecting themselves to the poppy's influence, usual caution is thrown to the wind and instead of relief, the seekers' lives complicate greatly. (Dang flying monkeys).

After getting the "monkey off their back" the troupe find the Great Wizard. Upon beseeching the Wizard's advice, they are told that their power has always been within them. All they needed to do was to choose to experience their desired result! Focusing upon Dorothy, the Wizard instructs her to click her ruby heels together and repeat "there's no place like home...there's no place like home...there's no place like home". Similarly to asking ourselves: WWJD? we remind ourselves that Spirit is our true nature and we are at "home" when we emulate the great spiritual masters such as Jesus.

As a parable, the story of the Wizard of Oz is meant to teach us a life lesson. Just as our power, rather than being held in someone else's hands, is found within us; our tyrannies are also experienced because we choose to experience tyranny - either because of the way we perceive things or because of boundaries we fail to set. Even Victor Frankl and Anne Frank perceived these truths while being subjected to the treatment while in a Nazi concentration camp.

And neither is our relationship with terror; until we choose otherwise. 

The evening news is filled with items that we should be afraid of; each other, a certain race or nationality of people, a new virus or chemical; even growing older. If were to take each of these fears to heart, we wouldn't get out of bed in the morning (unless we were told that this behavior was dangerous as well). There are folks, however, who live their lives around one or more of these fears. 

Who amongst us hasn't terrorized another to some extent? We yell at the clerk who answers the phone to a creditor that we owe money to. We blare our horn at the driver who drives too slow, doesn't move when the light turns green or who cuts us off in traffic. Our youth are inspired by the shoot-outs we see in the movies or on television and seek their 15 minutes of fame by overpowering the pharmacy or convenience clerk, or brandish a gun when disagreeing with others. The true terrorist is within ourselves. 

When we cease our tyranny we will experience the liberation we seek. When we stop viewing our world as a dangerous place requiring our toughened spirit to be ever ready to do battle and practice true forgiveness of others - extending peace, comfort and compassion rather than embracing offense, we will do our part to end terrorism in our society.  As I write this post, I am watching "Roads to Memphis" on PBS an American Experience documentary about James Earl Ray and his assassination of Martin Luther King. In it, Andrew Young, an aide to Dr. Martin Luther King says "We always said we were not concerned with who killed Martin Luther King. We were concerned with WHAT killed Martin Luther King. And what killed Martin Luther King was a reactionary attitude that was afraid of change for the better in America. It was trying to hold America, keep America still, when America was crying out to continue the evolution of freedom. I learned from Martin Luther King that you have to do what you think is right and accept the
consequences as they come. You can’t do things to stay safe."

Pertinent words then...pertinent words now.

The Meaning of Easter

I've started a tradition of bringing cupcakes to the weekly prosperity class that I'm taking. As I am sifting though recipes and looking at Easter designs that would be appropriate, I ask myself the question: What are the symbols of Easter? I think about the baby animals: lambs, ducks, bunnies and chicks that I might put on my creations, when my mind drifts to the understanding that the Easter message is one of birthing anew.

Here, where the locals call Tulsa "the buckle of the Bible Belt", the Easter symbol is one of Jesus dying on the cross. I can see through most of my adult life, that I have metaphorically seen myself on that cross, experiencing the pain of not enough money to travel and to purchase the "toys" that I have seen my friends do. I link my pain to my family of origin, where my mother lived a frugal life, purchasing only the necessities after growing up in Germany's depression and the culture surrounding that country during WWII. My real beef, however is with a husband of 15 years who probably spent two of those years in gainful employment, the rest was spent in acquiring things to such an extent that our home looking like an episode of "Hoarders". Moving down that timeline, my story includes raising my children as a single mom, primarily without the assistance of child support, and continuing to support my children and their families into adulthood. Is it any wonder I have continued to experience lack in my life.

Rebirth

But, then again, Easter represents rebirth. The grass turns green again, buds, then leaves return on the trees, the earth starts to warm and flowers again sprout from the ground. After struggling through the frozen winter, when everything appears bleak, we are guaranteed rebirth in the springtime.  Rebirth (riːˈbɜːθ): A second or new birth, reincarnation. Hmmm...to be borne again... The Christian story of Easter is that Jesus was slain on the cross, but two days later, when female friends and family went to His tomb they found it empty and saw what appeared to be Jesus alive once again, communicating with the women.  The Bible further quotes Jesus as saying: "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father" (for my power) - parenthesized verbiage mine. John 14:12 New International Version. We all know about ghosts which are presumed to be spiritual entities in the afterlife. I have had my mother communicate with me while I was in an altered state of consciousness receiving energy work, 8 years after her death. Just as Jesus was seen by mortals in His afterlife, it appears that the Easter message is one of immortality; that we don't have to succumb to the crucifixions of our modern lives.

A Course in Miracles says:

"The journey to the cross should be the last 'useless journey'. Do not dwell upon it, but dismiss it as accomplished. If you can accept it as your own last useless journey, you are also free to join my resurrection. Until you do so your life is indeed wasted. It merely re-enacts the separation, the loss of power, the futile attempts of the ego at reparation, and finally the crucifixion of the body, or death. Such repetitions are endless until they are voluntarily given up. Do not make the pathetic error of 'clinging to the old rugged cross'. The only message of the crucifixion is that you can overcome the cross. Until then you are free to crucify yourself as often as you choose. This is not the Gospel I intended to offer you. We have another journey to undertake, and if you will read these lessons carefully they will help prepare you to undertake it."  (Chapter 4- Illusions of the Ego, Introduction, last paragraph).

A lot to ponder!

It would appear that we can learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves. We can forgive another (not the "you're a putz but I'm so righteous that I bless you with my forgiveness) by putting ourselves in their shoes and remember that when we transgressed another, it was because we were operating from some sort of fear. Further seeing that when we are fearful, what we want most is understanding and support. If that is the case for me, it must be the case for you too.

We strike out in the day taking our past learning as reference for today's activity. An example for me would be my arthritis pain. I wake up in the morning and think about how much pain I will be in once I step foot on the floor. I lay in bed as long as my bladder will allow, so as to delay the onset of pain and hopefully make it to the bathroom before it is too late. I take my experience of yesterday's pain with me into the next day. What if I could know that I don't have to experience pain today? What would it be like to be pain free for an entire day? My expectation of poverty, keeps me impoverished. What if I could choose again?

Again, in A Course in Miracles (Chapt 31, section 8 - Choose once again, paragraphs 4 & 5):
"How do you make the choice? How easily is this explained! You always choose between your weakness and the strength of Christ in you. And what you choose is what you think is real. Simply by never using weakness to direct your actions, you have given it no power. And the light of Christ in you is given charge of everything you do. For you have brought your weakness unto Him, and He has given you His strength instead.

Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you. In every difficulty, all distress, and each perplexity Christ calls to you and gently says, 'My brother, choose again'. He would not leave one source of pain unhealed, nor any image left to veil the truth. He would remove all misery from you whom God created altar unto joy. He would not leave you comfortless, alone in dreams of hell, but would releasehides His face from you. His holiness is yours because He is the only Power that is real in you. His strength is yours because He is the Self That God created as His only Son."

Happy reserection to all this Easter! I think I'll make little easter baskets with cute little bunnies in them....

The benefits of being "teachable"

Be willing to be a beginner every single morning - Meister Eckhart

I did it! After cooking for more than four decades, I finally made the perfect pancakes. Light and fluffy...delicious! The last time I was grocery shopping, I spied a box of blueberry pancake mix distributed by an 'off brand'. I had stopped buying this brand a while ago, because every time its pancakes turned out tough. Not thinking which is becoming more of a routine occurance, I bought the box anyway; and this morning I wanted to make blueberry pancakes for my grand daughter's breakfast.

Ruth Ward (the mother of my first relationship after divorcing an insane marriage of 15 years) made the best pancakes. So light and fluffy, you had to hold them down from floating away. I got her recipe and followed her instructions "exactly" but mine ended up close to Eva Gabor's pancakes on
Green Acres. Ruth kept stressing to gently stir batter; just enough to moisten. Surely the cook didn't want to put pockets of dry flour onto the griddle...surely batter is supposed be in a liquid state to cook into a quick bread!

This morning, here I am with a second-rate pancake mix wanting to make something special for my grand daughter. I measured out the mix and water exactly and went to get my wire whip to whip the combination into a batter, when I remembered Ruth's advice. Instead I got a table fork. I gently folded the water into the mix, much like folding whipped egg whites into a batter. I only folded in the water 6 revolutions, then smashed down larger clumps of mix into the batter (2 or 3). I still had undissolved mix in the corners of my bowl and 2-3 sections of undissolved powder. The box said that this was OK, they would dissolve during baking. Viola! Light, fluffy pancakes! I GET it!

As an experienced cook, I have made more than my share of various batters. I KNOW how to whip these together! But my way (when it comes to pancake batter) lended less than stellar results. "When you do the things you've already done; you are going to get what you already got." In this area, I wanted to improve - I became "teachable". I forfeited my way of doing things and was once again delighted with the results.

Such is the same with my life. I wake up each day, "knowing" how much of the day will progress - and am usually not let down. I learned long ago when I was working as a staff nurse for a temp pool, that when I accepted an assignment for a long term care organization (most of which in my experience around central Iowa are dangerous hell-holes where we place our elderly to die) and commuted to its location dreading the assignment, my day seemed to drag on, and my expectations were typically accurate. However, when I stepped back, and experienced gratitude that I was given an assignment that morning, and knowing that Universal Intelligence was guiding me to an "assignment" - one of a Higher Order, I always experienced a serendipitous moment where I encountered the privilege of being uniquely qualified to be of service to another human being.

For me, I've found that "expectations are just premeditated resentments". When I look at the world with child-like eyes, letting go of my understanding of things from details of my past while experiencing gratitude for knowing that all life is a lesson, the most miraculous things develop. Like light and fluffy blueberry pancakes!

Yumm....where did I put that plate I just made????